It's hard out there for a nurse

So I guess it's about time for an update on this blog thing I started. I've been wanted to write up a new post for a while but have just felt like I had nothing interesting to say. Life's been rather boring, what with working full time and all. It's been an adjustment - realizing that this ISN'T a practicum and it's NOT going to END any time soon. I feel quite alright with work. Everyone has turned out to be very nice (so far...I'm still waiting for the hammer to fall from some old Nurse Ratchet, but so far so good - phewy). I've been brushed by thoughts of why people have to suffer etc - but I can't go there. There isn't really a sufficient answer to that question and I know I will go crazy if I try to find a suitable one. That's just the way life is, and honestly, some people haven't taken care of their bodies or have ignored doctor's advise. So why are they surprised or embarrased when they end up in the hospital having some young nurse like me wipe up their incontinence, or put antifungal cream on their jock itch? I've realized I'm not getting any younger and I too need to give my body what it needs in order to last me into my old age. I heard a woman on tv say today that if you want to be able to walk when you're 80 then you have to do exercise now. And it's true. I remember when I was working on the island over the summer there was this old lady (really old) who was so nimble and quick. She would get into bed in the most awkward way, something like how a two year old would do it. And when we asked her how she kept so limber she told us she played sports all her life. Anyway. I'm back to work tommorrow. I've been fighting off a migraine for about a week now. And I know it's due to the change from the job, the wierd hours, and not eating well at all. I don't feel like cooking ever, cause I'm either getting home late or tired and waiting to go to work. And I'm definatley not drinking enough water because if I do, then I have to pee, and well there's just no time for that. But the good news is I passed the RN exam and am now officially a Registered Nurse. I just have to shovel out another $300 to get my permanent licence and sign some form in front of a notary which I'm sure will cost me as well. "Sigh." But, it's good to feel part of the world. I like working and having free time, and I feel better about myself now that I'm not a student and can say "I'm an RN" when people ask me what I do. It's a good feeling.

Things to look forward to:
~ Natalie's wedding this weekend
~ Going to Salt Spring (the wedding is in Duncan, a short ferry trip across the narrows from my parent's place)
~ Spring! It's finally sunny here - hopefully it will last. I turned my furnace off today, hopefully for the summer.

Come on Sunshine!

Diner 45

Another year, another youth fundraising dinner. This year's theme: the 50's. It was a lot of work, but a lot of fun in the end. The money raised goes to helping the kids have a fun weekend away at a nearby camp.

Another [two] bite the dust

Congratulations Brenda and Tyler!

I didn't want to go...

but I'm glad I did. Here are some pictures of my graduation. I was a "left behind" after I broke my wrist so a lot of my close friends from school had already graduated a semester ahead of me. But, here are some pics of some special people.



Me and Kirstin



Kirsten, me, and Julie



nurses waiting around



the Kirstin's

Only totally inappropriate men find me attractive - episode 2

I'll keep it brief. I was on the ferry, unshowered, frizzy haired, no makeup, and wearing workout pants. This guy, and his two friends, who were all obviously very hungover from the night before, sit directly in front of me - facing me. I look up and the guy is totally staring me down - right in my eyes! The freak that I am freaked out and looked away, went completely red in the face, and reverted to reading my book. The guy then proceeded to ask his friends for a "style report" to which I didn't hear the answer, and when I put my book down at one point I heard his friend say, "there's your opening." From eavesdropping I learned the guy was actually quite intelligent and I think an Accountant. So maybe not that inappropriate. I tried to make eye contact with him again but I guess I blew my chance. I seriously need an in-service to build this skill. I know that one day it will all work out just fine.

How I'm Feeling / Work's kinda sucky

It's 5:18pm, and I have to leave for work at 6:00pm. I have to say I don't want to go at all. I've been waiting all day to go to work, and I'm already tired. It's my second night shift and although I'm orienting, I just get so nervous and anxious. Nursing is not an easy job, and I'm not saying that just because I am a nurse. I really look up to those who have done it for years and years. Apparently the nervousness doesn't really go away - ever - and you never ever know everything. Great.

My memory sucks. I don't understand much of what I do, and I feel totally stupid when people (patients and doctors) ask me questions and I don't know the answer - either because I can't remember the answer (like someone's blood pressure from 3 hours earlier) or I really don't know the answer and haven't had a chance to look it up (yesterday this guy asked me about every pill he was going to be getting LATER THAT DAY which I hadn't even looked at yet because I was too busy trying to keep up with the present meds etc)

I just have to vent. The next 6 months to a year are going to be brutal and I have to convince myself that I can handle it. My apartment is already a mess, I haven't cooked a proper meal in a long time, and I miss my friends. 12 hour shifts seem to go on and on. Last night at work I actually had a moment where I didn't know if it was 6 am or pm. It was only a brief lapse, but still significant. And when I got home at 8pm, I walked into the lobby of my apartment building and it was all torn up - and I thought "just how long have I been at work!?" I'm very certain it didn't look like that when I left at 6:20am.

Anyways, to keep things positive, here are some things I'm looking forward to:
1) friday morning - 7am (I will then have the weekend off)
2) The Amazing Race - saturday - a 12 hour fundraiser I'm doing with Lindsey - all over Vancouver on transit - hopefully we'll still be friends on sunday
3) Sunday - a whole day off to myself, except for church in the morning. hopefully I won't get too anxious thinking about work on monday.
4) Spending more time at my parents place - whenever I can.

P.S. I got a new computer! A mac! So I haven't posted any pics because I can't figure out how to - yet. I have some pics of my grad to come.